New Beginnings: An Ever Changing State
by Eagle9177
Summary: A series of unconnected one shots that didn't fit in the main story. Mostly lighthearted fun. Read the opening AN for a better description. Will take requests. (Art work was commissioned, no other usage or uploading anywhere without my permission.)
1. A Night of Surprises

**WELCOME!**

****Do read the following so you know what is about to happen with this story****

**For those of you that are new to my stories, let me just say now that my AN's are long and usually at the end, but this one will be at the top so you know what this story is all about. (There will still be a small one at the bottom, just contains my usual comments about the chapter. It's worth a look!)**

**This story will be a series of one shots based off my main story New Beginnings. **

**These are ideas/ plotlines that had no place in the main story but I wanted to write all the same. **

**I would like to stress that they are NOT connected to the main story or eachother, unless I directly state otherwise. **

**This one shots will usually be on the lighter side, as they are mostly fun ideas that I just wanted to write. It is also a place where I will experiment with potential pairings. Again bear in mind that just because I do a Revan X Shepard in one chapter does NOT mean that they will be of official pairing in the main story. One chapter it could be them, the next it could be Revan X Jack. So just keep that in mind.**

**I will also be taking requests, just keep in mind that they may be answered/ completed slowly. Also note that this will be updated sporadically. While I do have also of ideas for one shots to put in hear, actually getting around to writing them may take a while. If you do have a request either put it in a review or PM me, just make sure you label your message clearly so it's easier to sort through my mail, thanks!**

**Okay, that's enough rambling. Now to the chapter!**

**In celebration of Valentines Day, this one is a special treat for all those who have been begging for a Revan X Shepard X Miranda! ;)**

* * *

"You sure you wanna do this?"

"Hell yeah,"

"Shepard…that's a pretty tall order."

"Stop being a wuss Garrus," She gave him a determined grin before turning back to her objective, the Turian sighed beside her before taking his own ready position. "Three, two, one, KILL IT!" Shepard grabbed the shot glass, throwing back the drink so fast she couldn't even taste it, she promptly grabbed the second one, destroying it in a similar fashion before finally grabbing the third. That one wasn't quite as easily obliterated. The second the liquid touched her tongue she knew that she had made a grave error.

"Oh fuck!" She shouted, through a fit of coughing, "That was one of yours! I'm dying!" It had tasted like ass! Damn Turians and their stupid weird digestive systems. She dramatically began gripping the bar in her death act. It was also a really nice cover because the room was spinning way too fast right now and she was probably going to go down anyway. "You have killed me! You bastard!"

Those not in her crew gave her the same looks one would give a crazy person, but the dozen people she did know were all bursting into fits of laughter. She finally dropped the act as the room began to steady itself. She may have had too much to drink, way too quickly. But it was a celebration! And it didn't help that pretty much everyone had insisted on buying her a drink. That last round had been Jacks attempt to best her. Shepard grinned at the tattooed woman as they made their way from the bar.

"Nice try Jackie! Takes more than that to drop the likes of me!"

"I'll get you next time Shepard," Jack had a very evil grin on her face as she spoke.

"Bring it!" She stopped walking and turned back to face her rival.

"As your friend I am going to insist at least waiting a few minutes before doing something like that again." Garrus spoke up beside her, gently trying to steer her back to their booth.

"Fiiiine," She relented and allowed him to steer her through the crowd. It was probably a good idea anyway, she may be drunk off her ass, but she still knew her limits. "Now, where is my man? I haven't grabbed his ass in like…five whole minutes!"

"Probably where we left him," Garrus said with a chuckle.

True to his word, they found Revan sitting at their booth, a few of the crew were there as well, drinking and chatting, she was very quick to note that Revan hadn't touched his drink, but he was probably distracted by whatever he and Miranda were talking about. Shepard quickly made it to the booth and practically fell into him rather than sit next to him. The damn room had started spinning again.

"I take it Jack got to you?" He asked, amusement written all over his face.

Shepard simply grinned at him. She thought about replying but got distracted by looking at him. It was a very rare sight, he was wearing real people clothes! Not his robes or armor. Of course she had to buy that damn outfit for him and then practically beg him to wear it. Well bribe him with sex. So she had really won twice! He was wearing a plain grey shirt that hugged him very nicely, she had also made sure it was short sleeved to show off those kick ass Mandalorian tattoos covering his arms. The black pants he wore were just…good god they fit nice!

"Sorry, you say something?" She asked, finally snapping out of her fantasizing. She really couldn't wait until they got back to her cabin. Apparently the drunker she got the hornier she got.

"Nothing," He chuckled, "I should warn you, there is a conspiracy to get you drunk enough to dance. Joker is the mastermind behind that one."

"Of course he is," She was not going to get that drunk. Joker had quickly let everyone know what a terrible dancer she was and proclaimed it to be the 'most hilarious thing they will ever see in their lives.' But they didn't know her secret, the fools!

"I'm told it's quite the sight, I wish him success."

"Dick," She said, lightly shoulder checking him, well she more just fell into him again, but that was okay too, he made a nice pillow. Plus the room was still spinning a bit, now that those shots were really kicking in she really didn't want to stay upright, so she let herself just fall, her head landing in his lap.

"Uh, Shepard, that's…uh that just looks wrong from over here." Said Jacob, although his laugh gave away his amusement.

"Spirits Shepard, at least wait until you get back to your cabin, I don't need to go blind." Added Garrus who sounded even more amused, likely because he had a nice opportunity to make fun of her drunken state.

"Nut kick Vakarian, that's two tonight!" She held up two fingers above the table to emphasise her point. Yeah it probably did look bad, but she was too drunk to care, Revan's lap was comfy and she wanted to be comfy.

"Shepard!" Jack's voice was urgent and caused her to sit up and actually look at the speaker.

"What?"

"A group of bitch ass blue suns think they can out drink us!"

"Those sons of bitches!" She leapt up from the booth, how dare those mercenary pussies try and call them out! They had killed those fools by the dozens, hundreds even! "Jack, to war!" She quickly followed the tattooed woman through the crowd, they would teach these Blue Suns a thing or two.

They made it to the bar, where she spotted several members of her crew, but no mercenaries. She did however, see a collection of shots and drinks arrayed on the bar's surface. As Jack pushed her to the counter she realized what a grave mistake she had made. This was an ambush.

"You bastards," She muttered, looking at the collection of alcohol.

"Oh come on Shepard, you aren't even dancing yet, clearly you need to drink more." Joker could barely contain his laughter as he spoke, her expression must have been pretty funny.

"It's not gonna happen!" She said sternly, well as much as she could muster. She knew they would all keep hounding her until she did. Part of her wanted to just do it, another, deeper part wanted to reveal her secret.

"Oh come on! We paid for all these drinks, what else will it take?"

"I have something," She grinned as the master plan formed in her mind. "I will dance, if you all help me get Revan drunk." Normally it would be an insurmountable task and everyone would realize it, but drunk people were far more agreeable than sober ones.

"Done!" Shouted Joker "Everyone grab the drinks and follow me!" The decently drunk Pilot grabbed one of the drinks and began moving slowly back to their booth, the rest of the crew followed, each holding at least two drinks.

"Well that was easier than I thought." She said with a chuckle. She turned back to the bar and ordered two more drinks, not even bothering with a specific, she just told the bartender to make whatever.

"You should have thrown the cheerleader in with that deal," Said Jack, watching the procession. "She really needs to unwind, especially tonight."

"Well Jack, I didn't know you cared so much," She teased the other woman.

"Oh shut up. I'm just sick of watching her get all depressed every time you get all grabby with Revan."

"What do you mean?" She hadn't noticed anything like that, why would Miranda even care in the first place? Shepard grabbed the two drinks from the bartender, handing one to Jack.

"God you are dumb sometimes," Jack grinned at her before nodding back towards the booth, "She wants to hit that so hard. How could you have never noticed?"

"Guess I was too busy hitting it," She sniggered, although she quickly stopped as Jack's words sunk in. "Really though?"

"Yeah. Wanna know what you should do?"

"Sure," She shrugged, taking a drink. She didn't want tension between her and Miranda, nor did she want her to be sad. Miranda was her friend after all.

"Get them both drunk, then all three of you go back to your cabin and fuck like animals."

Shepard instantly choked on her drink, erupting into a torrent of coughing, she handed her drink to a very amused Jack as she began thumping on her chest, even bending over to try and clear her airway. Jack meanwhile was killing herself laughing.

"Hilarious," She muttered, finally righting herself and quickly taking her drink back and having a long sip.

"I know. Still, wouldn't be a bad plan, just saying." Jack gave her a devilish grin before walking back towards their group.

Shepard quickly followed, trying to shake those thoughts from her head. When they reached the booth she was shocked by what she saw. Revan was still sitting down, but he had three empty drinks infront of him and three more empty shot glasses. He grinned at her as she walked through the gathered crew. Mother of god they were actually succeeding.

"I heard that if I drink enough then you will dance. I couldn't disappoint so many." He reached for a new shot glass as he spoke, quickly throwing it back. "Although I had a condition of my own." His grin grew even bigger at her confused look, his answer was to simply nod his head to the person sitting beside him.

Shepard look at Miranda and her eyes nearly jumped out of her skull. She had a perfectly equal number of empty glasses to Revan, although she didn't seem to be handling it quite as well. She was staring fairly intently at the shot gripped in her hand, as if she could will it to disappear. A second later she quickly threw it back, a small cough escaping her lips as the liquid rushed down. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

"This was a terrible idea," She muttered.

"Never have a drinking contest with a Mandalorian," He replied with a rather sadistic grin.

Shepard couldn't stop herself from bursting into laughter. This was just too perfect! The two most uptight people in the crew were getting totally hammered together! She had never seen either of them so much as take a sip of alcohol before. This night just got way better!

"Well fuck, I will take that challenge up!" She quickly threw herself back into the booth, knocking into Revan, who in turn was knocked into Miranda, who she swore blushed at the contact. But that could have been the alcohol.

Shepard grabbed one of the many drinks on the table and quickly downed it. Revan immediately followed, as did Miranda, albeit far more hesitantly. Two drinks later and Shepard had to agree with Miranda, this had been a terrible idea. She had already been pretty drunk by the time this started, Miranda was shaping up to be a lightweight, while Revan looked barely affected. He had just been grinning the whole time. Bastard. Wait…a minute, he had been sitting the entire time…

"Hey Revan, your turn to go get us another round." She quickly moved out of the booth and gave a rather large gesture to usher him out.

"Very well," He said, still grinning as he got up and headed to the bar.

She watched him for a moment, admiring the view before sliding back into the booth. She glanced over at Miranda, noting that she was still watching Revan, but the blush in her cheeks had definitely intensified. Did she really have such a big crush on him? Not like she could blame her. He was pretty amazing. Still, she didn't want any hostility to arise from it. As she looked over the former Cerberus officer her very dunk mind couldn't help but wander as Jack's earlier suggestion floated through her mind. Miranda was pretty damn sexy. VERY nice ass, fantastic boobs, the woman was curvy as hell! There definitely wasn't a problem in the looks department and…well the idea wasn't totally off putting, there was a pretty good chance that it would be AMAZING. Having both her and Revan together, now that she was really picturing it, she couldn't deny that it got her pretty aroused- okay she was way too drunk! It was crazy! No way it would work. Neither of the would go for it. She probably wouldn't even be going for it if she wasn't so drunk. It was crazy.

By the time Revan got back with drinks, Shepard was almost so desperate to drink more to forget these far too exciting thoughts that she barely noticed the change in the normally composed man. His walk had a faint sway to it, his eyes had become ever so slightly less focused and his grin had gotten even bigger. But it wasn't until he was actually sitting down that she really noticed. He practically dropped into the seat, setting the drinks down rather noisily, he quickly raised his glass gesturing to her and Miranda.

"_OYA!"_ He cheered

Shepard knew that word and she quickly repeated his call, as did Miranda, the three of them clinking glasses before downing their drinks. As she slammed her glass down on the table she noticed that Revan was almost half off the booth, a quickly glance showed that it was her fault. She quickly slid in more, grabbing his arm to pull him in with her. She only stopped moving when she bumped into Miranda, she gave the other woman smile, but only after it came out did she realize it was a grin. Now that they were practically pressing against eachother her bastard mind kept throwing those earlier thoughts at her again, only more intense. She really needed another drink.

* * *

She should never have agreed to this. She knew it was a bad idea the second it had been said, but she had agreed anyway, thinking that perhaps it would be fun. Well she supposed it was a fun, but not having control over all her faculties was not something Miranda as used to. Her mind was fuzzy, she had already had way too many inappropriate thoughts about Revan since they started drinking and it only got worse with every drink. It didn't help that Revan was pretty cute when he was drunk. He looked very at ease, laughing and smiling regularly. He had even been singing a Mandalorian drinking song earlier, although she could not even begin to recall the words right now. She did however remembering her horrible attempt to join in. She would never be drinking again after tonight.

"How you doin there good lookin?" Asked Shepard, bumping into her slightly as she turned to look directly at her.

"This was a bad idea," She said carefully, doing her best to not say anything ridiculous and embarrass herself more.

As the night went on and the more Shepard drank, she was becoming increasingly…friendlier. It was weird. Although Miranda really didn't mind, they were good friends after all. It's just she couldn't remember Shepard ever complimenting her looks, it was odd but also kind of nice to hear.

"No, it was a great idea! Nice to see you loosen up and have fun!"

"I suppose it has been a fun evening," She admitted with a smile. With the alcohol increasingly breaking down her usual inhibitions, she found it easier to talk to Revan tonight. A part of her felt bad because she knew that almost all of her interactions with him were motivated by her feelings for him and from all the thoughts she kept having, it was clear that some part of her was spurred by ulterior motives. She would never act on them though! He was with Shepard and she would never betray her friend like that.

"Well this is just the start! It's going to get much better." Shepard grinned at her again, but it was a grin she was not used to seeing, she even gave it an accompanying wink. Miranda got a strange feeling from that look, like a fluttering in her stomach, her cheeks even felt warmer. But this alcohol was having all kinds of effects on her.

"Shepard!" They all turned to see Joker and much of the crew walk, or rather, stumble up to the booth. "If this guy isn't drunk then I am Santa Claus," He thrust a finger at a still grinning Revan. "You owe us a show!"

"Alright, you bastards." Shepard replied with a laugh, she downed the rest of her drink before pushing Revan out of the booth so she could get up. Miranda followed, she had to admit to being excited to seeing what Joker had been raving about for so long.

"But you are going to get a special show," She continued as they made their way to the dance floor. "In honour of you all being a kick ass crew and us killing the shit outta the Collectors, you get to see something nobody ever has." She stumbled through the crowd until they were in the middle. "Clear me a space, Tali, hack into the speakers and get me access."

Her orders were quickly complied with, Grunt all too eager to begin bellowing at the other patrons to clear a space. Shepard was hovering over Tali, excitedly pointing at something on her Omni tool. Once a space was cleared, Shepard gestured for them all to move back, the crew formed a circle around her and watched as she nodded to Tali. The Quarian quickly did a flurry of taps on her omni tool. The current music being blasted through the bar was suddenly cut off and a new song took its place. Miranda quickly recognized it as one of the old bands that Shepard listened to, but she could not identify the song.

She watched as Shepard grabbed Joker's drink from his hand, downing it at a frightening rate before tossing it back to him. She bobbed her head with the music for a few seconds as the song started off slowly. Her body began moving in an odd stepping pattern for a few beats before the tempo quickly accelerated, Shepards body moving along perfectly. Her body was constantly in motion, she dropped to the ground, her hands and feet a blur as they moved in an almost hypnotic pattern. Occasionally she would freeze in what Miranda would deem an impossible position to freeze in, before she would suddenly burst back into movement. The entire thing was incredibly fluid and mesmerizing. Shepards body contorted at odd angles, sometimes only half of her body would be in movement while the rest remained frozen. Miranda watched, slack jawed, as she spun on her back at an alarming rate, slowly her body contorted and she began rising until she was back on her feet, her spin finally coming to a stop just as the song ended. She was looking at her crew, a huge grin on her face.

"What the shit?" Sputtered Joker, he, like the rest of the crew, were staring wide eyed. None of them could believe what they had just witnessed. "What the shit?" Repeated Joker.

"The fuck Joker? You said she couldn't dance!" Jack smacked the still awestruck pilot on the back of the head.

"She can't! I mean, I thought…when we partied after Saren she was horrible!"

Shepards only answer was to grin even bigger at the pilot before she began stumbling off the dance floor. "I need another drink," She muttered, half falling into Miranda and Revan. How that woman had managed to perform such a feat so drunk, Miranda would never know.

"That helps to explain why you are so flexible," Said Revan as they headed towards the bar, a rather cheeky grin on his face.

"It has many wonderful uses," She returned the grin just as fierce, even leaning in to nip at his ear in a very playful manner.

Miranda quickly looked away, trying to rid herself of the thoughts that were quickly arising in her mind. She tried to focus instead on Shepard's performance. It had been very breathtaking, the display of skill was incredible. She must practice such skills regularly in order to do it that well while drunk. She also had to admit that it had been surprisingly…attractive. In a weird sort of way. The discipline that was required, the concentration, it was impressive. The way her body had moved was stunning. She had never really thought of Shepard in a sexual sense, not that she hadn't noticed the womans…charms. She had just never really been attracted to her in that sense. She was too drunk. A point which was driven home at the new thoughts that flooded into her mind. Damn alcohol! She quickly tried to force them out, turning her thoughts to reports and the duties she had-

"Don't worry," Shepard said suddenly, her voice low, being whispered directly into Miranda's ear, "You can see those more of those wonderful uses later."

Miranda nearly shivered at her voice, at the feeling of the hot air on her neck. Shivers ran down her spine, pleasurable ones. Even if she had been able to babble out some kind of reply, she would have been cut off by Shepard ordering them all drinks. Yes, Miranda definitely needed another drink.

* * *

Shepard was grateful for two things when she finally woke. One, that she never got hangovers. Two, she was grateful for how damn comfy her bed was. Of course her bed was only partially responsible for her comfort. The warm body pressing up against her helped immensely. She smiled as she snaked an arm around Revan, hugging him tightly, her hand finding a very nice resting place just under his amazing boobs.

WAIT! Revan's boobs weren't this big! Revan didn't have boobs! Shepard's eyes snapped open, her view was immediately filled with a mess of dark hair, she looked down to see the instantly recognisable, shapely form of Miranda. Oh god, oh god. She had cheated on Revan! What the fuck?! How could she- Her freak out was cut short as she finally noticed the warm presence at her back. Slowly turning her head she saw Revan sleeping next to her, his face buried in the pillow.

Oh thank god, he was here too. Wait, what the fuck?! Her mind returned to its freakout as she tried to remember the previous evening. She remembered being really…really drunk. The drinking contest that had occurred between her and…well everyone. Then Jack suggesting she have a threesome with Miranda. Then getting even more drunk with Miranda and Revan. She remembered dancing…then, nothing. At least not from the bar. She was starting to get some VERY vivid memories from when they had stumbled into her cabin. All three of them. Even amidst her freakout, she couldn't deny that those memories were…simply incredible. Good god the sex had been amazing! Miranda had been...well, the fact that she was getting wet again pretty much said it all.

Shepard did her best to put the memories of the mind blowing sex out of her mind as she tried to sort everything out. Clearly all of them had been involved, if the three of them being completely naked wasn't a big enough hint, her memories were certainly enough. It was still a bit fuzzy but she would bet the ship that Revan and Miranda had enjoyed the hell out of it too. So, what did this mean? This was certainly an unusual situation, to say the least. She loved Revan, and Miranda was one of her best friends. But she had never really thought of the other woman in that sense, well not for too long anyways, certainly nothing like this! She cared for Miranda yeah, but she had never attached any romantic feelings to it. Those has all be directed at Revan. She supposed it wasn't totally crazy...

A faint sigh drew Shepard from her thoughts as she felt Miranda shift, moving back slightly to press herself into Shepard, an action which she couldn't deny felt pretty damn nice. The woman had an incredible body. A second later she felt the former Cerberus officer stiffen, her whole body going rigid. Shepard almost laughed, knowing the other woman was having the exact same freakout she had just gone through upon waking. Slowly Miranda's head turned to look at her, all Shepard could do was smile, she was pretty sure a faint blush accompanied it too.

"Morning," She croaked, only now realizing how dry her throat was. She still fighting off the urge to laugh. The look on the other womans face was simply priceless, wide eyed and a very red face.

"Morning," Miranda returned softly, her voice full of confusion.

"Don't worry, I am still trying to remember exactly how we got here as well," She couldn't hold in her laugh now, but did condense it down to just a chuckle.

"That makes three of us," Revan groaned from beside her, his voice muffled.

Shepard's laughter fully broke free now as she shifted to look at him, his head was still buried in his pillow. She felt Miranda turn over to look at him, adding her laughter to Shepards at the sight. Because of their biotics her and Miranda didn't get hangovers, but it appeared that for all Revan's magical force powers, he was not that lucky.

"Got a bit of a hang over?" She teased

"Don't you?"

"Biotic's don't get them," She answered with a smirk. Revan's response was only to groan loudly. Shepard and Miranda both laughed again.

Once the laughter died down they were wrapped in a silence that could only be described as awkward. Shepard honestly didn't know what to say or do, she had never really been in this kind of a position before. Miranda was the one who ended up breaking the silence, not with words but through her shifting. Her head was scanning the room as she shuffled to the edge of the bed, still clinging onto the blanket to cover herself. Shepard chuckled as she watched the blankets being pulled from Revan, who didn't seem to notice apart from burying his face further in the pillow. She took a minute to enjoy the view before returning her attention to Miranda who had found her underwear and was quickly putting it on.

Shepard had to take another minute to enjoy that view as well. It wasn't until Miranda moved from the bed and began collecting her actual clothes that she was snapped out of her wandering thoughts and memories from last night. What could she say? She didn't want this to be awkward, well not more than it already was and she definitely didn't want this to ruin their friendship. It was pretty clear from everything that was said and happened last night that Miranda had feelings for Revan. Shepard didn't want there to be any resentment, or anything even close to that. She cared for Miranda, now it was just in a slightly confusing way that she couldn't quite sort out at the moment. Her mind scrambled for something, anything to help the situation. It wasn't until Miranda was scrambling back into her clothes, her gaze falling over Revan, who was finally rolling over and pulling the blanket back over him. His eyes blinking rapidly, he simply looked back at Miranda, then to her, then back to Miranda. Shepard saw Miranda blush as her gaze switched between her and Revan several times before she quickly turned away.

"I need to go," She muttered, moving towards the door in a hurry. It was then that Shepard finally knew exactly what to say.

"Hey Miranda," The woman stopped, half turning to look back. "See you tonight?" She let the grin spread across her face, she was completely serious and wanted to make sure Miranda knew it. Her grin turned into a smile as she watched the other woman blush deeply, faintly smiling in return before hurrying into the elevator.

She turned to look at Revan now, grinning at his surprised expression. "And people say nothing good comes from drinking." He chuckled in response, giving her a grin of his own. She honestly didn't know who was luckier with this development, regardless, she had finally made up her mind on the situation. It was fucking awesome.

* * *

**Okay, only a few super quick notes. **

**First, if it wasnt clear, this takes place after the main game, but before the Arrival DLC**

**Second, what I was trying to describe Shepard doing was break dancing (B-boying for those down with the lingo.) In my mind she was going it to Don't Stop Me Now, by Queen. And no one say that is impossible! I met a guy who does to to Celine Dion!**

**Third, for those of you wanting a much smuttier version, well I just wasn't in the mood for it today. Not to mention the logistics of writing that were very daunting! If enough of you want it though I may get around to posting one ;)**

**Okay, that's it from me.**

**Stay Classy! **


	2. The Bounty

**Hey all! So this is just a short little idea that popped into my head while I was trying to power through some writers block. It made me chuckle so I decided to quickly write it out. Nothing serious here, all just for fun. Although it was nice to write out a bit of a Revan/Miranda pairing. **

**Hope you like it!**

** As always I will take requests for this story. Just send me a PM. **

**Stay Classy!**

* * *

"Hey Revan, there is something I have always wondered." Shepard asked as she swallowed a mouthful of food.

"What's that?" He asked, sitting down at the table.

"Do you have like a hundred pairs of those robes?"

"No, just the one." He looked at her through the shadows of his hood. Somehow he didn't trust where this was going.

"How do you keep it so damn clean?"

"I wash it," He answered slowly, still trying to figure out where the redhead was going with this whole thing.

"So…what do you wear when you are washing it?" Shepard's grin could not have been any bigger.

So that's where she was going with this. Honestly he was surprised no one had been curious about this earlier. He wasn't about to answer her though. He did not need to give her that kind of ammunition to tease him with.

"Oh my god." Shepard said, dropping her fork dramatically. "Do you just stand around naked while you wash your robe?"

"No." He replied flatly. He wasn't totally naked. Of course he knew that it was impractical to have only so few changes of clothing, but well… he had always been nostalgic. He had purchased things to wear on different occasions, but unless it was absolutely necessary, he preferred his usual attire.

"You so do!"

"You'll never know." He said with a smirk.

"That's it! I am declaring a bounty!" Shepard banged her hand on the table, obviously to ensure she had everyone's attention. "I will offer five hundred bucks to anyone that gets a picture of Revan out of his robes. The less clothing the better!"

There were instantly a chorus of snickers that went around the room. Mostly because everyone knew the woman was dead serious. Revan groaned internally. He knew that Shepard would take this challenge very seriously, as she did everything. He just hoped some of the crew could be a little bit more mature about it. Although as he looked around the room he began to doubt that.

* * *

Shepard was walking towards the starboard observatory when a loud bang made her spin around. She saw Joker backing out of the men's room. Scratch that, he was floating!

"Hey look, this is just a big misunderstanding!" His voice was laced with fear.

Right behind him came the fully armoured and robed form of Revan, his hand outstretched as he levitated the pilot. Shepard saw his armoured head turn to her for a second before he shouted.

"Catch!"

Suddenly Joker was thrown down the hallway towards the redhead. Shepard quickly thrust out her own hand and caught the air born pilot in a ball of biotic energy. Revan quickly disappeared back into the bathroom while Shepard set the still frightened pilot down.

"Oh shit, I thought I was dead." Joker was breathing heavily, hands on his knees.

"What did you do?" Revan had a pretty good hold of his temper, she couldn't imagine him doing that for no reason.

"Well the pot is up to eight hundred bucks! I thought maybe he was gonna take a shower…soooo…."

"Please tell me you weren't hiding in the stalls?" Shepard could barely contain her laughter. As she looked at the pilots face it broke free.

The next time Shepard walked by the men's room she saw a small line outside the door. Revan had locked the door down so not even EDI could open it.

* * *

The following week was probably one of the most amusing weeks of Shepard's life. She had to stop Revan from almost decapitating Joker as the luckless pilot tried again to get another picture of him. Garrus was almost reduced to tears after he tried to get his own picture and the masked man had installed a virus on the battery terminal that reset his calibrations every five minutes. Tali was driven to near madness when following her failed attempt to place a camera in Revan's room. He had ordered HK to follow her around for the entire week.

Everyone was getting in on this event. The pool increased every day and by the end of the week it was nearing two thousand. Mordin had tried to persuade Revan with an argument about how it would be for the benefit of science if he could see the masked man naked. Jacob challenged him to a sparring match, the prize being a picture. The former Cerberus soldier was unconscious within fifteen seconds.

Zaeed challenged him to a knife throwing competition. That had actually been surprisingly close but Revan still managed to pull through. Jack tried hiding under his cot, which had led to a fight that almost destroyed the ship. Grunt challenged him to an arm wrestle, which Revan had won, to all their shock. After he admitted that he could enhance his strength to superhuman levels. It technically hadn't been against the rules. He turned down the revised rematch. Legion had said that there was a unanimous consensus that Revan should shed his robes. The masked man quickly informed the Geth his programming was faulty and offered to 'fix him.' Although said fixing seemed to require a lightsaber.

Even Samara had tried! She had challenged Revan to a game of riddles that had gone on for over three hours. Eventually they had all realized that the two were just screwing with them the whole time. Even Thane had been man handled out of the bathroom after his stealth skills failed. Over the week every single member of the crew had tried at least once to get a picture of a robeless and armourless Revan. With each passing day the pot grew and Revan's temper got shorter. Although Shepard was sure he wouldn't kill anyone….probably.

On the ninth day of the contest they had docked at the Citadel. Everyone was sitting down for supper when Shepard noticed the lack of a particular masked man. She didn't mention anything until over an hour had passed and he still hadn't shown.

"Where is Revan?"

"Hiding," Miranda was the one to answer.

"Where?"

"He left the ship last night and refuses to come back on board. Unless one of two conditions are met." The brunette had a faint grin on her face as she spoke. "Either the pot is disbanded or he is allowed to start killing people." Miranda's tone was completely serious, ensuring that everyone present believed her.

"Well at least he asked first." Shepard couldn't help but chuckle. She probably should have felt bad for this but it was way too funny for that. "What I want to know is why the hell haven't you cashed in on this?"

"What do you mean?" Miranda arched a perfect eyebrow in her direction.

"Oh please, are you still trying to pretend like you aren't hitting that?"

"My relationship status aside," Miranda said, a trace of embarrassment in her voice. "Why would I want to do that?"

"Because it would be hilarious? Also the pot is at like twenty-five-hundred now."

"I would never do something so crass as to take a picture of Revan naked."

"Ah-ha! So you have seen him naked!" Shepard pointed and accusing finger at the former Cerberus operative.

"That's not- oh nevermind!" Miranda quickly got up and stormed off, the whole crew laughing as she went.

* * *

It had taken Miranda almost forty minutes of walking to reach her destination. She had to ensure that no one was tailing her. There was no such thing as being too cautious. She entered into the average sized building and rode the elevator up to the third floor. The hallway was quiet as she walked down its carpeted interior, stopping before one of the many doors she quickly pressed her hand on the scanner for a moment before the door unlocked.

She quickly entered the room and shut the door behind her. She turned and her eyes quickly scanned for her target. The spacious and well decorated room was empty but she immediately heard the sound of running water. Heading to the bathroom she opened the door, only to stop and enjoy the sight before her. A naked Revan was something she always had to take a moment to fully appreciate. He was standing in the shower, hands working the shampoo through his dark hair. Revan turned, looking at her through the glass door.

"Did you deliver my ultimatum?" He asked, his voice carrying over the sound of the shower.

"Yes, although they didn't exactly give me an answer."

"I'm going to kill Shepard," He muttered, stepping back under the stream of water to rinse his hair.

Miranda just nodded as she watched him. She was still getting used to actually being in a relationship. The whole experience was very foreign to her, but it was easier than she had suspected. Maybe she just thought relationships were more complicated than they actually were. Maybe it's just because she was in a relationship with Revan that it was so easy. It was hard to say. However there was no doubt that she was enjoying herself.

Moments like this were rare, when it was just the two of them. No crew, no mission, just them. Of course there were still a lot of things they had to do, many plans were in motion. Life was far from being calm. But right here and now, none of that mattered. Right now she was just going to enjoy the sight before her. Although just standing here wasn't as good as-

"Are you just going to stand there?" Revan asked, a grin on his face.

"Oh no," Miranda said, returning the grin as she stepped further into the bathroom, her hands instantly beginning to pull of her suit.

Miranda opened her eyes, quickly becoming aware of her surroundings. She was still in the hotel room Revan had taken refuge in. She was in the bedroom, still naked from their…well there was no point in giving it a fancy name. Mind blowing sex. She sat up from the bed, looking around for something quick to put on. Her eyes found a bulky black robe draped over a chair. She had always been a bit curious…

With a faint smile Miranda rose from the bed. Within two steps she had crossed the room and snatched up the robe, throwing it over her body. It was…far softer than she had been expecting! She had felt the outside of the robe before and it was a little bit rough. But the inside was so soft and warm. She couldn't help but smile as she pulled the robe tighter, she probably looked like a fool, practically swimming in the large garment. But honestly, she didn't care. It was warm, it was comfortable…and it smelled like Revan. Even she was allowed to act like a normal girl sometimes.

Miranda walked from the room, still wrapped in the amazing robe. Her eyes quickly found Revan, standing at the counter with a cup of coffee in his hand. He was wearing nothing but a pair of boxers that hugged his form very nicely. He looked up at her. She felt his eyes rove over her and after a moment a surprisingly warm smile came across his features.

"Comfy?" He asked, still smiling.

"Very." It was impossible for her not to smile back.

"Want some coffee?" He asked, gesturing to the pot behind him. She nodded and he turned to pour her a cup.

It was then that an idea popped into Miranda's head. She did it almost without thinking. Almost. She quickly realized that it would solve a problem and also be…fun. When Revan had turned back around he was instantly met with a flash as her omnitool captured him in all his glory. The look on his face actually made her break out into laughter. It was absolutely priceless.

"Et tu, Brute?" He said after a moment.

Miranda got ahold of herself and looked at him in surprise. She hadn't been expecting that!

"Yes, I read Shakespeare." He said, rolling his eyes. "But seriously, you too?"

"Well it seemed like the most efficient way to get you back on the ship without bloodshed." She stated matter of factly. "Unless you plan on killing me," She added with a faint grin.

"Your logic is cold and brutal. I approve," He grinned at her as she accepted the cup of coffee.

* * *

Shepard had just finished a rather satisfying supper when Miranda finally joined them. The brunette had a rather determined look on her face as she approached.

"Pay up."

"What?"

"The pot, I am here to collect."

"You're shitting me…"

Miranda tapped on her omnitool a few times before a large image was suddenly projected from it. The room went utterly silent and Shepard's jaw damn near hit the floor. _Holy, fucking shit_. She tore her eyes away from the image for a second to see the smirk on Miranda's lips.

"Be jealous," She said, still with a smirk. A second later the image disappeared and she began leaving the room again. "I expect my money by tomorrow!" She called out before disappearing into her room.


End file.
